Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The DISC Basics (and I do mean basic)

I originally set up this blog for people who already had a basic understanding of DISC and were looking for ways to apply it to parenting. I've since had some requests for a little more explanation of the DISC model of personality differentiation, so here it is...
The premise is this: there are four basic personality types and we are all a unique blend of traits that belong to one or more of these types. DISC has the simplest method of determining your personality type than any model I've seen. It goes something like this... First answer the question, "Are you outgoing or reserved?" And then answer the question, "Are you people oriented or task (or detail) oriented?" If you're not sure and seem to be pretty evenly divided between one or the other, pick the one you lean toward the most. Once you've answered those questions, you should be able to say, "I am an outgoing, people oriented person." or "I am a reserved, task oriented person." or whatever your specific combination is. You get the idea. Now, refer to the graphic on the right (the circle with the four quadrants identified by the letters D, I, S, and C). One of these will be your primary personality type, but like I said, you'll have traits from the other types blended in.
The D personality type is outgoing and task oriented. They are outspoken and driven. They like to be in control. Think of words like dominant, doer, demanding, etc.
The I personality type is outgoing and people oriented. These are the fun, life-of-the-party types. They like recognition and are upbeat, positive people. Words like influential and inspirational help to remember the I type.
The S personality type is reserved, but people oriented. They are sweet, shy and like stability. These are not boat rockers. They are, however, team players. Plus, they're just nice.
The C personality types are reserved and task oriented. They are careful, critical and calculating. They like routine and order and can be perfectionists. They thirst for information.

So there's a basic (really basic) overview. People write entire books on the subject and I just reduced it to a couple of lines. But it's a start. I'll do some more parenting posts where I focus on one personality type at a time, so check back soon!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Everyday DISC for Moms...

Just some thoughts that may be of benefit to those in the trenches. I've always said that DISC is so simple to learn; the hard part is remembering to apply what you know when you're in any given situation. So here are a few basics that I've learned that make the daily stuff go much more smoothly. Enjoy...

Waking kids up in the a.m….
I’ve noticed that my S and C children take longer to wake than my D and I. They’re also the ones I have to give more warning to when changing activities in general. They’re the kids that need the 5 minute warning at McDonald’s playland…otherwise there is sure to be a meltdown that ends with me climbing into the ball pit. I hate climbing into the ball pit. So plan extra time for them in the morning. They just don't go from 0 to 60 as fast as the rest of us. The D does best when she feels like she's in control, so I give her choices… “Do you want to eat breakfast first or get dressed?” … “Do you want to wear the red shirt or the pink one?” … “Jelly on your toast or just butter?” Questions like, “Are you hungry?” are usually answered with a grumpy “No!” and followed by 20 minutes of refusing to eat and then we’re late for school and then I start yelling and then it really breaks down from there.
Mealtime…
My C children are such picky eaters (my 14 yr. old C is actually vegetarian... has been for years). They don’t seem to care about food when we do sit down to eat and eat smaller amounts than the rest of us. The D and the I children are much less finicky and are enthusiastic eaters. The I’s in the family are the overeaters. The S is only slightly finicky, but no one would ever know it. She just quietly eats what she likes and avoids the rest. I love the different responses when I tell them what’s for dinner. One of my C’s never cares because she knows there’s an entirely different vegetarian menu for her. The other C usually scowls and tells me everything she doesn’t like. And the I whoops and hollers and cheers at no matter what I say; it’s all his favorite.
Chores…
The C’s need a list. They thrive on lists. They love checking off completed tasks one by one. They do the most thorough job, by far. If I need something done right, I’ll ask one of them. The lists do nothing for the D and the I. They need different motivation. The I does best if I say, “Do this and we’ll watch a movie when you’re done.” etc… The S offers help, but needs help following through. She does it happily enough when I ask, though. The I and S need lots of praise once they’ve completed their tasks.
Discipline…
The I crumbles when he thinks I’m unhappy with him. He can’t take the slightest bit of criticism. I have to be very careful when reprimanding him because it wounds him too deeply. The C’s don’t seem to be so sensitive. As far as discipline, the only thing I have found that works on the C’s is to take away something important to them… a privilege or activity they love, toy, whatever. When behavior changes, privilege is returned. Don’t have to discipline the S; she never does anything wrong. Nothing works on the D; she does whatever she wants.