DISC, Kids and Money

First I'm going to have to tell on myself...

When it comes to finances my policy is: it's just money. I'm happy to share whatever I have with anyone who needs it and would rather have fun experiences and wonderful memories than an enviable stock portfolio. Now, some of you are saying, "Yes, of course, why wouldn't you feel that way. Life is for living!" Others of you got extremely nervous merely reading the words "it's just money." And some of you thought "What an idiot."

I just figured it was another "men are from mars" thing until I learned about DISC. I no longer see gender lines, but personality lines. As a case study, it's most interesting of all seeing my four youngest children's attitudes about money. Keep in mind that all of them were raised by the same two people, taught the same principles; they should have the same, or at least similar attitudes towards money, right? Not so. Let me show you what I mean:

Our 14 year old artsy, fartsy C has never had any interest in money except to insist that we shouldn't be spending any. We have the hardest time teaching wise money management skills because she simply doesn't care. We've tried to find things she wants to help motivate her to earn and save. Nothin'.

Our 13 year old happy go lucky I child spends it faster than he can earn it. He loves to shop and has blown more money than I can count on things like multi-colored duct tape and sharpies. We have to turn saving into a game to get him to hang onto it for any time at all.

Our 7 year old ultra organized, disciplined C is the funniest, though. When she was 5 years old she got some money for her birthday. When I talked to her about what she might like to buy with her money she said, "If I spend my dollars, I won't have my dollars." She's been our best saver, by far. She decided she needed an alarm clock last year, so I took her to the store to buy one. She hauled her piggy bank to the store with the $25 she'd saved in it. There were three clocks that made it to the last stage of her careful selection process. A pink castle that projected the time onto the ceiling for $25 (it was cool!), a beautiful dancing pink princess for $19 and a small pink rectangle with a small princess sitting on top of it for $11. She really wanted that castle; I could see the dilemma raging in her little C brain. But it only took her about 30 seconds to choose the least expensive one. She still has every gold dollar the tooth fairy ever gave her... I know because once "the tooth fairy" didn't have any on hand and tried to sneak one out of her bank to re-use (come on... the tooth fairy is an I). She noticed, OF COURSE, the next morning when she went to put the latest gold dollar in her piggy bank.
Our youngest is the DI and doesn't have much fiscal experience yet. The only thing I have noticed is that if she gets any money at all she usually gives it to me as a present. She and I have similar personality types and my mother says I frequently spent my birthday money buying presents for other people.

My point is this...

Let me repeat, trying to raise all children the exact same way is insanity. Look at this single issue! They all need specific parenting. Their issues are unique, their strengths and weaknesses-- personal. Our creative C needs to learn that money does have its place and that she's going to have to use the filthy stuff to navigate in this world (I'll also tell her how cool it is that it's not that big a deal to her). Our high I needs to learn restraint and common sense... things like, you have to pay your bills before you buy concert and amusement park tickets. (I'll also tell him how great it is that he is able to live a little and not be totally uptight about money). Our organized C who saves, saves, saves needs to learn that it's okay to spend a little on fun stuff every once in a while. It's no use dying with millions in savings (I will also applaud her DAILY for being able to do at 7 what most people can't do at 47). And we have yet to see about the little one, but maybe it will be something like, make sure your own needs are met before you give your money away to others. I may not be the best person in the world to teach this one.