Responsibility, Homework and the I Child

We’re a few months into the school year and here’s what’s on my mind…

Raising C’s is AWESOME where school is involved. They are so responsible and self disciplined! The homework is a non-issue with them. They do it on their own and even check their work; they can’t stand to make mistakes. They plan ahead the night before and get themselves up in the mornings. A mother’s dream come true…
So, obviously, this post isn’t about them. You see, I am also the mother of an I. Don’t get me wrong. He has his own areas of awesomeness: he’s hilarious, loving, kind and a really happy person. He’s good at a lot of things, self discipline just isn’t one of them. We’ve had a rough start to the school year with him. His grades are not where they should be and he still hasn’t mastered that responsibility thing. Does it make me less proud of him? Am I mad at him? Of course not. He’s an I. I understand that this is an area in which he needs extra help. That’s where I come in. I need to help him develop good study habits. What comes naturally to my C’s will be areas that have to be taught to my I. They’ll have to be developed until they become habit. The I is just as capable as the C’s. My expectations for them all are the same. Helping them all to reach that potential is my job. The thing is, it's going to take unique methods, depending on the personality type of the child, to get them there. I'll say it again... what works for one won't work for all of them. You are going to get frustrated- - I guarantee it. It is so hard for the I personality child to focus and stay on task; he's just not wired that way. It has to be taught.

So what’s a parent to do? Here are some practical solutions for helping an I personality child become more responsible and successful with their school work:
• If your child’s school has a website, get familiar with it! Even our little school corporation out here in the middle of nowhere has a website where teachers log assignments, attendance, and grades. It’s great. You can see if your child hasn’t turned in an assignment or if he is getting behind in a class. Teach your child how to check the website and help them to get into the habit of checking it regularly. Have a set time, like every Monday after school, or whatever works for you. There will be times when you may have to check it daily until the habit is well established.
• Have a set time and even place for homework. It’s hard for this type of child to be consistent, so you will have to help them remember and help them get into the habit. It really helps if you can be in close proximity to them. They are easily distracted and you will need to help them stay on task.
• Check their work. I know it’s tedious, but this is especially important with I personality kids. They will rush through an assignment just to get it done so that they can play. My C children would be mortified to turn in an assignment that didn’t have all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed. My I is fine with it.
• Don’t forget this type child needs a lot of positive reinforcement. Your words have a greater impact on this personality type because they are very emotion driven. So try and make your remarks sound more like encouragement and less like criticism.
• Think reward system. “Hey buddy, as soon as you get your homework done I’ll take you on in a game of … (fill in the blank).” or “If you get your homework done we’ll have time to watch a movie.” You get the idea.
• And lastly, don’t freak out. When they do bring home a not-so-pretty report card, first praise them for the good grades and then help them come up with a plan to raise the bad ones.

It’s not about mental capacity. Our job is to help them to achieve their personal best and with an I personality child, you just have to help them learn good habits.

It’s either that or military school.