Sunday, January 10, 2010

Why Parent with DISC?

Many times I've thought of all of the benefits of understanding my children's individual personality styles.
  1. It is so much easier to communicate with each of them. Nothing is more frustrating than being misunderstood. Think of the tantrums of a toddler or the moodiness of a teenager. They primarily stem from the child not being (or not feeling) understood.
  2. Cooperation is increased. When I need things done or need them to help with something, I know how to get them to help with the least possible resistance (and least amount of whining). The C's love the list. They get such a sense of accomplishment from checking things off. The S's do best when you work alongside them. Make it a game for younger I's, music for the older ones. D's need to have a say in which tasks they do. Give them several to choose from and let them have some control. They're each so much more productive when the tasks are approached in a way they are more comfortable with.
  3. It's almost like I've got a road map of their natural strengths and weaknesses. It makes it so much easier for me to know which things an individual child needs to overcome (some personality types are more prone to lying... some have problems taking orders... some are more likely to have self-esteem issues... some have a harder time staying on task). Somehow it seems easier when I know that it's not uncommon for a certain personality type to have a particular issue. I have more patience with it.
  4. There's something really great about understanding how your child is wired. This is harder to explain, but so important. When my oldest daughter was young and I didn't have this information, I remember thinking, "I don't feel like I really know her." We were together all day every day but I just didn't get her. Of course, I later learned we were on opposite sides of the personality spectrum. And while understanding them as young children is great for more cooperation and less whining, understanding them as they get into the teenage years is critical. Their lives take much more serious turns and they will gravitate toward the people who understand them, the people who "get" them.

Honestly, I could go on and on. But I've saved my favorite reason for last. Here's the greatest thing I've noticed from my understanding each of my children's individual personality types... they're happier. Let me give you some examples: I had two daughters sharing a room, an I and a C. They were the odd couple! The C was miserable, the I didn't care. I put the C in her own room and it changed her little world. She keeps this room immaculate. Her clothes are always hung up and her desk is perfectly organized. She is no longer mad at her sister for having to live knee deep in toys. Or how about knowing that my SI son needs me in the room when he does his homework. He can ask me questions, I can help with tougher problems, etc. He just stays on task more easily and then feels better about himself when he gets his homework done (and done right). He invariably hugs me and says, "Thanks, Mom." when he's done. He doesn't really need my help academically... just emotionally. I can do that. I could list instance after instance where my understanding them has led to them being more content, less frustrated, more cooperative... just happier.